magical_snowflakes

2008-12-28T02:56:00.001+08:00

Moved :D

www.hisreflector.wordpress.com

2008-12-23T23:55:00.003+08:00

MY PARENTS ACCEPTED CHRIST!

I pushed aside all ministry this evening just to accompany Daddy, Mommy, Uncle and my 20months old Nephew (Daryl) to attend the event Auntie Annie had invited us just last month.

Auntie Annie opened her house (there were about 40+ visitors) to invite a quite well known speaker to share his testimony. His name is Kelvin and he was once a drug addict, went in and out of jail and thus, kinda wasted 20years of his life. He got really bored in jail and requested comics from the officer. However, he was given a Bible. When he flipped open the Bible, a verse spoke straight to him and he acknowledged Jesus just there and then. From then, his life changed. With no music background, one who can't even read the music scores, he actually composed songs, much from the inspiration of God. There were some songs composed when he was in jail too. Because of his life transformation, his grandma also came to know Christ at the age of 80+. She's now 90+ and healthy. God used Kelvin to speak to the people in jail and rehabilitation centres and had thus since, impacted much lives. He's invited from churches all over the world just to share this powerful testimony of His. He was in the papers and news in Singapore as well. His life testimony was shared through a DVD and naturally, all of us were very shocked when he actually turned up, together with his wife, to present us songs (he has 6 albums by the way) and share even more testimonies.

After the whole sharing, I saw Mommy and Daddy looking at each other. I knew right there and then, that God had touched their hearts. Kelvin later came and talked to Dad, and in a short while, I saw Kelvin holding Daddy's hands to lead him to the salvation prayer. Mommy, being the mommy, followed suit. Kelvin's wife led her to the salvation prayer with Daryl still asleep in her arms. When the prayer was done, I saw tears streaming down her cheeks. A moment later, they all got up, gathered around my family and prayed for us(:

During the third night in Camp, when Sharlene was meeting the CLs, I shared the vision that God gave me. One has got to do with CG08, and another has to do with my family. In that vision, I saw my whole family, including my uncle and grandparents, standing together with me on the stage of our Church, proudly proclaim of how God had been so so so good to our family. During that night, I sent them 12 messages long about this vision and how God wants me to be a salt and light in the family.

Therefore, when Mommy made the decision to accept Jesus as her Lord and Savior, she and Auntie Annie was reminded of the vision which I'd shared to them. God is good, He answered my prayers(: I witnessed my parents saying the salvation's prayer. I'd be waiting for my uncle, grandparents, sister and nephew's turn(:

And great, Auntie Annie suggested me to take the lead to get my Mom and Dad to pray each morning without fail. It's gonna be awkward. But Im gonna do it(: I'd promised God. Goodness. He already made my parents accept Him, what more can I not do? Ask me slam my head against the wall 12 times, I'd be more than willing. (Just kiddin!)

This is the best Christmas Gift ever!
P.s My mom's Birthday's on Christmas Day!

2008-12-21T00:01:00.002+08:00

All the hard work and effort had paid off (:
No matter how ''suan'' my feet are from the not-so-comfy pair of shoes that I'd been wearing for these two services, I can't help but to smile to myself when I remember so vividly how I saw the people streaming down the aisle, makin' the same best decision that I'd made two years ago. My heart never fails to melt whenver I see such sight. We really do play a part, dont we? Like as simple as taking the time out to outreach, taking the step of faith to invite our friends/contacts down for service, praying that their hearts would be softened, to taking yet another step of courage to share to them how great this God we know is and finally, to their nod of their heads, deciding to acknowlede Jesus as their Lord & Saviour. And when we hold their hands and lead them down the aisle, man, that joy is totally/ridiculously/absurdly indescribable!

Similarly, I saw how hard the choir had been practicing, with the guide of Louis, Yushan & Daixuan and how many 28445184816 times they'd rehearsed with Yushan and Winstar, just to smoothly and succesfully present that song. I got to see the whole band working together with Daniel Leow's leading. How tired Debbie was, but still came punctually. How Jon quek had been sneezing but still chose to sing. How Kim and her image team had been going around, helping people to put make up on and even though my make up was done, Kim would often come up to me and ask if the make up's okay and if she could do my hair and stuff like that.

Simply put, there was completely no complaining spirit at all. In fact, I saw evidently how people had went that bit of extra mile, which somehow made quite a big difference. All these were done, just for one service. All these were done, in a hope that the audience who are viewing out there would be touched and somehow, feel a connection with God. All these were done, just to see people who were aimless, empty and purposeless to get their God-shaped hole be filled by the Only One.

Seriously, if what these people are doing aren't for Jesus,
then tell me, what is?

2008-12-18T12:31:00.000+08:00

I am back from Heroes Camp!

I'm not gonna go through or list down all my convictions etc.. The point and the essential key is the will to carry out my convictions even though Camp's over. Camp wasn't the beginning. The end of Camp is the beginning. I'd share when all that I desire to do is done/accomplished and come to pass. Pointless for all the talk yea? (:

2008-12-11T01:19:00.000+08:00

I seriously think that my blog’s url is absurdly silly and stupid.
I always feel very paiseh when people ask if I happen to have a blog.
Disgusted. HAHA!
What to expect, I was just sec two then.
Lazy to change anyway. So troublesome.
Okay, just being random (again)..

2008-12-11T00:07:00.003+08:00

CANDACE. says:
your life is different from many ppl : )
Ariella Joan says:
haha i thought all are different?
CANDACE. says:
everyone's diff you mean?
Ariella Joan says:
yea
CANDACE. says:
i mean yours is really diff.
CANDACE. says:
like a 17 year old girl gg thru all that.
CANDACE. says:
haha. (:
Ariella Joan says:
oh.. well .. yeah. hahaha..
Ariella Joan says:
given a choice, i wouldnt want it this way too, to be frank
Ariella Joan says:
lol
CANDACE. says:
you are v.strong, i must admit((:
Ariella Joan says:
haha thats just cuz you havent seen me breaking down (:

Im definitely not very proud of some areas in my life, honestly. It's not something which I like to gain attention or show off about. Not that I'm totally ashamed of it, but neither do I take much pride in it either. The reason why I share it here on blog, is because I want people to witness what I am going through now, so that when God moves and works, they'll naturally know that it is definitely God. I am so so so sure that God'll make a difference not only in my life, but also in my family's and the people around me. Like I told candace, given a choice, I wouldn't want to be facing what I am / had been facing. It doesn't feel at all good. But I know God planted me here for a reason and a purpose. He's gonna use me, and I'm gonna bring Change. I am aware that my posts are sometimes more sadistic, but really, my life's not that bad lah. I love my family alot, they love me even more, and I have dear friends who stood by me all these while (:

Great.
Y'know, it feels so shiok-ingly good that when your rainbows are here after the great storms, you are able to loudly and boldly proclaim that you'd stood tall/strong/firm. I wouldn't have had done it alone. Thank God for God himself. He simply rock my stockings (not that I have one, Haha!)

Navel Base and Yishun Town secondary had just completed CG08 last Saturday. Each and every individual contributed to this completion. I really can't thank them enough for their heart/hard work , effort, sweat, energy, time and sometimes even finance invested just to see this coming to pass. God is Good (:

2008-12-02T00:29:00.003+08:00

On the 27th of November, just the day after his Birthday, Daddy fell and complained that he could not see the flats opposite from the kitchen’s view. I got him to the chair and he started trembling and as I held his hands, they were cold and icy. I called for him and he didn’t respond. I then rushed to my uncle’s room to seek help. By then, my Dad had already regained his consciousness and insisted on cooking lunch for my nephew. As he walked towards the boiling pot, white liquid flowed from his mouth and he fell forward, scalded his neck really badly and fainted. All in all, he regained and lost consciousness for about three times. For a moment, I thought I’d lost him.

At the very first day when he was admitted to the hospital, the Doctor, at the presence of my Dad, told my uncle that there might be a serious liver problem due to his drinking habits and he too, was constantly vomiting. Whatsmore, on the second day, when the Doctors tried to draw out the ‘water’ that causes the swell in Daddy’s left knee, what shocked him was the fact that it was not water at all. It was the colour of the alcohol that he had been drinking.

(The thing is this. Two years ago, my Dad was admitted to hospital due to his drinking problems which caused his knee and ankle to be swollen and pain. He’d been drinking since he was reeaalllyyy young and thus, it was no surprise that the Doctor told him then that his internal organs are not functioning as well as they should be and his liver’s starting to hardened.)

So yeah, I got myself prepared for the worse.

Just when I thought this was the worse, I was wrong. I was woken up by an unpleasant news the next morning. Was informed that my One year and 7 months old Nephew, Daryl, actually had a really bad fall at the void deck. Apparently, there was a small but deep ‘’hole’’ on his nose bridge, just between his eyes. No joke, I have the photo. Rushed to the clinic with my family and fortunately, no stitches were necessary.

I broke down. My faith was definitely tested.
When Dad was hospitalized, I asked God, ‘’Why my dad? Why this time? Is this some kinda prank?’’
After Daryl’s incident, I told God, ‘’Alright God, what next?’’
-God never answered me-

I prayed every night for God to watch over my family. I did not pray to have the understanding as to why God has to allow such thing to happen in my life. Instead, I prayed for strength. I could still remember my exact prayer that I wrote in my prayer book:

‘Jesus, if You can heal the sick, make the blind see, the lame to walk, the deaf to hear and resurrect the dead, then SHOW ME that you can do that to my family as well.’

In addition, my unit prayed for me. My shepherd Joyce, prayed for me. And I was informed that you guys prayed for me too.

Two days ago, when I was accompanying my Dad at the hospital, he told me that the doctors told him ‘bout his condition: Surprisingly, his internal organs had no problem at all. In other words, his liver is in PRISTINE condition! They explained through medical terms that my Dad actually did not had ‘fits’ , but rather, it was a seizure. However, he was given the medicines that were meant for people who threw fits. Thus, it’s some kinda ‘positive’ side effects from the medicines that he’d consumed. They also mentioned that such cases are extremely rare. He was also able to bend his left knee slightly more than 90degrees. (He was unable to do that for years!). All this can be explained by science. But I know, that deep down, my God is moving. My God is definitely beyond science. I too, told dad that my church friends and myself had been praying really fervently for him. He simply nodded.

At the same day, the ‘hole’ on Daryl’s nose bridge was ‘closed up’ too (:

-This is not all-

I reached Tan Tock Seng hospital at 10am sharp this morning. Daddy was sent to do some scanning an hour later. Thereafter, Auntie Annie, my parent’s good friend came to visit. She’s a Chrisitian too(:She settled down and we had about an hour’s chat about my faith in Christ and she too assured me that God’s using me to influence the whole family and encouraged me to be the salt and light at home. When Daddy came back from the scanning, Auntie Annie told him that this is definitely God’s work. It isn’t much of the medicines that cured him. It was Jesus who healed! She also invited my Mom to this evangelistic event in her church on the 23rd but my mom, who by the way is very opened to Christianity since the start of this year, would only go if my Dad followed suit. My dad not only agreed, he PROMISED Auntie Annie that he’d turn up. They had an hour’s conversation and Daddy was listening attentively ‘bout how good this God we know are. Auntie Annie ended the conversation by praying for my Dad. As I drew out my hands and laid it on Daddy’s lap, shut my eyes and agreed in Auntie Annie’s prayers, I felt a rich sense of joy and fulfillment.

True, I did not know why God placed such incidents in my family at the beginning. Worse still, I even doubt God. Each time I question Him, He did not answer. Though His ways are higher than mine, I can now finally realize and understand why He allowed these storms to disrupt the peaceful waters within me and also used Auntie Annie to speak into not only Daddy’s life, but mine also. God is not only real, God is good! Through all this, I got to see the power of prayers. Yes, I relied on God and drew strength from Him. But more than that, it was YOUR prayers that worked too. It’s said in the bible that when one prays and another agree, it’s powerful. I can boldly say that it was your prayers that saved my Dad’s life(: Thankyou, and thank God, whom I can never thank enough.

2008-11-28T12:44:00.002+08:00

Was woken up by yet another unpleasant surprise.

Nephew fell down and got his head hit against the chairs at the void deck
Grandma was so guilty that she cried
There's a small hole at Nephew's nose bridge, between his eyes
Fortunately, stitches werent necessary.

My Faith's being tested
Thankyou for the smses
Thankyou girls, for the audio messages/songs/encouragement
It really got me going on

I will stand strong
Please keep my family in prayers

Jesus, if you can make the blind see, the lame to walk, the deaf to hear,
then show me that you can heal my Dad and Nephew too.

2008-11-28T00:38:00.002+08:00

Daddy's hospitalized.

The whole incident which took place in the afternoon at home kept repeating itself in my mind.
I held his hands and they were cold. Called for him but he didn't respond.
Regained consciousness and fainted for a couple of times.
Accidentally scalded himself when he fell to the floor.
''Throwing fits'' , ''Low blood pressure'' , I heard them say.
And then Daddy was pushed out of home in the orange stretcher.

For a moment, I thought I'd lost him.

Rushed to the hospital in the evening.
Saw Daddy.
Pale and thin.
I am not sure, but he had teary eyes.
Waited for Mommy to rush over from work for two hours.
Everyone was busy in the hospital.
Condition of Daddy's still unknown.

God, I know, everything's in control in Your hands.
But please.. Don't take him away too soon..
Not now.

2008-11-26T23:21:00.004+08:00

I seriously miss the girls ):

Horribly. Terribly.

2008-11-23T23:42:00.003+08:00

Same places. Same people.
Yet it's so different.
But still.

I am blessed.Very blessed. Extremely blessed.
Judging from the surface, I don't seem to have what most people would want or crave to have.
I'm not wealthy, no much beautiful features, pea- brained (serious, im quite sure bout that) , not very academically inclined, careless, absent minded and the list goes on and on and on and on and on and ZzZz...
But it dawned upon me on Saturday that, I am extremely rich. This indescribable deep sense of ''richness'' that overwhelmed me for a few good minutes.

People.

The reason why I am able to live each day with Hope and Optimisim, besides God, it's definitely people.The words that were spoken. The tap on the shoulder. The stroke on the back. The look in the eye. The slience which spoke a thousand words.

They say life's a journey of Goods and Bads. I really thank God that through the goods, I had people to share my joy and celebrate with, and through the bads to share my sorrows and especially those who 'grabbed' some of my burden and weighed it upon their very own shoulders willingly or rather sometimes, secretly without me knowing. I consider myself lucky, despite the misfortunes and unhappiness in life, that I really have very good genuine friends in and out of church. I can't say that I am very experienced about this whole life-thingy. Im young, and still growing. Each day's like another opportunity for me to explore and venture. But I also thank God for those people who weren't really very nice to me. Somehow, knowingly or unknowingly, I recognize them as people who had moulded me for who I am today. At least, till I accepted Christ and regonized who my Savior is. Though I might be really young then, they made me realized that life wasn't a bed of roses. That there wasn't much love around in this world, let alone sincere & genuine ones. Perhaps it's all beacause of the many bad things that happened in life then that made me realized the love of God even more. A huge contrast, I would say.

This is just a random post with my quite-scrambled-thoughts.
If you geddit, you geddit. If you don't, it doesnt matter anyway(:

2008-11-15T23:15:00.002+08:00

I went to service with a heavy heart this morning.
Wouldn't elaborate why but y'know, I realized that perhaps all these while I've been like a dog, chasing its own tail, twirling 'round in circles, panting and sweating, makin' the most effort, but heading to nowhere. Each time the same issue surfaces, I tell myself ''Why not give it another try? Why not let's start anew again? There's no harm giving it another chance, does it?'' Then the hard truth slaps right on my face and when I was just about to go back to my naive self again, this voice screams right into my head ''JOANHOE! Wakey wakey! Time to move on! ''

It hurts.
It aint easy.
But I know this is the best.
When nothing is the best solution, then taking a step back might be the next best soultion.

Indeed, Fathers know best. During worship in service, He comforted and mended my brokeness.
That divine touch. Totally indescribable. Am worn out, but I am glad that I am 'stretched' . I renewed my faith with God today and it feels good. (''Like renewing contract ah?''-says my sheep) Haha. The last thing I want is to stay stagnant. To be in the same state and condition. I am extremely disgusted and totally abhore my old habits and ways. Seriously, I can't imagine how God could put up with that. When I start to think about it, I simply can't help but go ''Ewwwww''' and ''YUCKSSSSSSSSS''

Ohh and I just discovered something(: When one needs encouragement, one could try encouraging others first. It helps! I didn't really expected encouragement, but I was writing some cards for our unit's Core team members and before taking the pen, I told God that Im not gonna write for the sake of writing with plain ''Jiayos'' and ''Complete CG08!'' or ''XXX school for Jesus!''. Instead, I want to write specifically and thanking them from the deepest depth of my heart which I think are different from others but had impacted many. At first I was worried that I would not be able to thnk of anything to write. But as soon as I start writing the first sentence, it all became so smooth. And as I thank them with a heart of gratitude and appreciation, I realized that I am actually wearing a smile while writing it. And as I encourage, I myself am very much encouraged by the spirit of the people, the extra mile they went for others, and simple everyday decisions making which reflects and speaks volume of their values and love for God. Amazing(:

I will stand strong, for nothing outweighs my fears, worries, problems & hindrances! :D

2008-11-09T21:56:00.003+08:00

Storms are finally here. Yahoooo!
That just meant that my Faith level will increase & there are gonna be more breakthroughs.
To sum it all up, it's time for growth (:

After all these while, I've learnt to not get panicky/overly-worried/concerned/frustrated/think about ''whys''. Rather, I am just gonna draw strength from God and let Him be my guide. Alright man. I am excited to where He's gonna lead me to :D

O's are gonna be over soon! Yay! I can finally bury myself with good books !

2008-11-06T09:12:00.004+08:00

POWER OF YOUR NAME-Lincoln Brewster

Surely Children werent made for the streets
And Fathers were not made to leave
Sure this isnt how it should be
Let Your Kingdom come

Surely nations were not made for war
Or the broken meant to be ignored
Surely this just cant be what You saw
Let Your Kingdom come
Here in my heart

I will live
To carry Your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
By the power of Your name

Surely life wasnt made to regret
And the lost were not made to forget
Surely Faith without action is dead
Let Your Kingdom come
Lord break this heart

Jesus Your name
Is a shelter for the hurting
Your name
Is a refuge for the weak
Only Your name

Can redeem the undeserving
Jesus Your name
Holds everything I need

2008-11-05T23:05:00.002+08:00

HoHoHoHoHo!

Two days ago, my parents bought me a new phone as a belated birthday gift and I was happily meddling with it and stuff. Thereafter, my Mom asked me if there were any nice songs from my phone and asked if I could send it to her 'cuz her phone's song list was rather empty. Then I went scrolling down the hundred plus list of songs I had in my phone and marked some of them which I think Mom would like, and thennmn, I saw ''Dao Gao 祷告'' which was written from this guy from the adults grp in Hope. I of course, wouldnt let go of this golden opportunity. So I marked it. Then I heard my Mom who's sitting quite far away from me said ''Dont send me those Jesus Jesus songs huh.'' I grinned.

Here's the interesting part (:
Just a few hours ago, my Mom came back from work,

Mom: Ehh, I told you not to send Christian songs to me the other time, didnt I ?
Me: Woo.. Did I?
Mom: Ya.. the what... Dao gao.
Me: Ohh.. I think I marked wrongly.
Mom: It's a very nice song.
Me: *STUNNED really?
Mom: Ya. The lyrics ..
Me: *Jaw dropped. Made you tear??
Mom: Ya (She said it embrassingly, of course!)

Hahahaha! I was leaping with joy within, I tell you! That's not the end alright. Here's the best part after she came out from the shower.

Mom: Does it come together with a disc?

HAHAHAHAHAHA! YAYYYYYYYY! HoHoHoHoHoHoHo!
Oh God, please plase, prompt her to ask songs from me again!!!

2008-10-31T21:30:00.003+08:00

I first got hold of this book when I was in primary 5. It's a beautiful story and also the first book that made me tear. After my first read, I shoved it in the cabinet and never set my hands on it any longer. However, recently when we had a major packing & clearing up at home, my parents and uncle decided to put the Ikea bookshelve in the living room. Being the ultimate bookworm myself, I happily brought all my books from my room and placed it neatly on the shelves. And this morning, when I was walking pass the bookshelves, I stopped and shifted my gaze upon the pile of books and randomly picked out a book. And I'd actually spent hours re-reading the whole book once again. When I was eleven, I read it for the sake of reading and enjoying the story. Presently, though, somehow I carried a different heart attitude reading it and surprisingly, I discovered things that I've never discovered in the book before. I stopped and re-read insightful and beautiful sentences twice and thrice while I'd just gave a mere glance when I first read it.
Man, this is why I love books!

''Having eyes, but not seeing the beauty;
having ears, but not hearing music;
having minds, but not perceiving truth;
having hearts that are not moved and therefore never set on fire.''
-Extracted from the book, Totto-Chan

2008-10-31T00:59:00.006+08:00

The above photos were the first batch of photos that I took on my Birthday using webcam. My Nephew's totally ecstatic when he actually saw himself at the computer screen.
Andand, My dad's very handsome right?! That's my super Daddy(:

Anyway, thankyou all for those who had
smsed me once the clock struck 12am to the 30th of October,
given me gifts ,
given me beautiful cards with even beautiful words in it ,
given me a hand-shake ,
and offered prayers

I really appreciate it(:

Went to Angmokio with my dearest shepherd and sheepmates(: At first, they lied to me that Celine was unable to turn up due to some stuff and I got quite sad. But it was a prank! We had Japanese food for dinner before bringing me for a 20minutes walk around Amk (To make me anxious, I think) and brought me to Kbox! My whole body had been itching for it ever since Exams started. Finally!

All in all, I really can't thank y'all enough for the celebrations.
First was on the 10th of October when the Clique celebrated for Kay and I
Then the Birthday surprise Champions coreteam had for me in Yishun Stadium
And my beloved dmm members on my Birthday itself.
You people made my day such a wonderful and memorable one.

Thankyou, Jesus,
for placing such awesome people in my life and being such an awesome God!

2008-10-21T22:00:00.007+08:00

Haha! This is interesting!

O's written paper's not even half conqured yet and I am already down with a bad sore throat and runny nose. How bad can this get man.

Anyway, I really want to thank those who had been constantly encouraging me all this while, prayers, smses, cards, gifts, exam kits etc. Also, the extra mile that the girls and guys in 5N3 had took to assist me in my Achilles' heel (Math). I feel extremely loved, just like what I told joyce, ''Classmates, friends or caregroup members, I seriously feel that I am surrounded by people who truly love, care and concern. 他们真的很真心的疼我'' . I cant thank you all enough (:

I wanna thank God too, for being with me all way through when I sat myself down, scribbling down the answers on the answer sheet. When I stop and ponder, God reminded me. Thankyou God, for the inner peace that you gave before and during examination, assurance after the papers, wisdom in tackling tricky questions and understanding of the questions and passages. You rock!

Am gonna stay over at Kay's place on Thurs to give Math the final 'Chiong' before sitting for it the next morning. Thankyou, Dearest, for going the extra mile for me :D I love you!

2008-10-15T01:33:00.002+08:00

Dreaming
-is imagining/thinking what you can yet do
-is imagining/thinking what you have yet accomplish
-is imagining/thinking what you can yet contribute
-is imagining/thinking who you can yet become
-is imagining/thinking how you can yet learn
-is imagining/thinking how you can yet grow

Potential
-is everything that you can do that you have yet done
-is everything that you can accomplish that you have yet accomplished
-is everything that you can contribute that you have yet contributed
-is everything that you can become that you have yet become
-is everything that you can learn that you have yet learnt
-is everything that you can learn that you have yet grown

I don't wanna dream. I want to get it done.

2008-10-14T01:17:00.001+08:00

I have a new found friend!!
It's Veron from Ywam(:
Had a fruitful conversation with her in MSN too(:

''it's not about how "perfect" or "sinless" you are... but it's about how much you desire to grow and want to live out of sin and chase after God, not the wind'' -Veron

2008-10-13T21:37:00.005+08:00

Is the face that I see in the mirror , the one I want others to see

Do I show in the way, that I walk in my life

The love that you've given to me

My heart desires to be like you

In all that I do ,

All I am

Do they see Jesus in me

Do they recognize Your face

Do I communicate Your love and Your grace

Do I reflect who You are

In the way I choose to be

Do they See Jesus,

Jesus in me

It's amazing that You'd ever use me

and use me the way You will

Help me to hold out a heart of compassion and grace

A heart that Your spirit fills

May I show forgiveness and mercy

the same way You've showed it to me

Well I wanna show the world that You are the reason I live and breathe

So You'll be the one that they see

when they see me..

I first heard this song when I was a non believer and already, I fell in love with it.

I am not sure why. Perhaps God had already planted a seed within me when I was listening to it.

The lyrics made sense to me. And after knowing Him, the lyrics appealed to me even more. Also, one of my dreams for God has got to do with this song(: I sure hope these lyrics speaks to you as much as it did to me.

2008-10-11T00:00:00.014+08:00

10th of October- A date to remember.
The Graduation Ceremony taken place in the auditorium would definitely be a memorable one. The speech Mrs Tan Siok Chin made was enough for me to cry a bucket of tears.
The videos of photos which showed some of our faces of lower secondary school days.
The Goodbyes from our teachers whom we have unknowingly relied on so much over the years.
The singing of school song for the last time

五年了，多少都会难过与舍不得
怎么说，我们这几个也是一起长大的
或许因为曾经有过不太愉快的过去，
再加上几年的幼稚，
我们今年才会没有争吵，
和更珍惜彼此的存在
毕业典礼似乎只有我这个白痴傻乎乎的在座位上擦眼泪
其实，我知道带着灿烂笑容面后的你们，
心情也是和我一样的
苦，略带一点点的甜。。

We later headed down to the Cafeteria for our sumptuous meal.
Within twenty minutes though, the majority of the 4E and 5Ns had left the school, leaving only the few of us slacking around.
Silun later asked me to piggy-back her and have it captured in the camera.
And then, from the back, out came a few of the missing ones in our clique whom we thought had went to ChongPang to buy drinks:

‘Happy Birthday to you ,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to Joan and Kay,
Happy Birthday to you!’

It was an advanced birthday celebration for both Yinkay and I !
The both of us were shocked and surprised ..
Haha, I shall just let the pictures do the talking.

It was indeed, a pleasant surprise.
Thankyou all, for taking the time out to buy the gifts and prepare the giant cards with beautiful photos, and even more beautiful words in it(:
Five striaght years. Man, it hadn't been easy.
I would definitely miss the 'togetherness spirit' of 5N3.
The stupid jokes and pranks we played on each other,
how we'd locked silun outside the classroom,
how we went to switch Yaozhen's phone in 'General' mode, making it ring with the orh-biang nokia ring tone during Math lesson,
how we went to the washroom in eights rather than pairs,
how the teachers can be angry and laughing at the same time due to our silliness,
and not forgetting how we'd spot people who are cutting queues during recess.
Achievers, lunch breaks, science practicals, 'ponding' and 'fish-viewing' after recess,
squeezing dunno how many ''lor mai kai'' in our pockets during sec4 to consume it in class,
secret Mac delivery during total defence day this year
(people were eating tapioca and bread while we were happily munching our burgers away) Haha! There are many many many much more to say.
I'll really find one day to pen it all down in my personal journal one day.
You guys and girls are people whom I've sorta grew up together with in this second home of ours.
This school would definitely leave a significant mark within me, but whats even most precious is the people in it.
Even unglam and silly nicknames (Laughing Machine, Happy Monster) which you all had given me would be like precious treasured gems to me

Thankyou, 5N3,

for giving me such priceless and beautiful memories that would be etched in my heart for as long as I live(:

2008-10-05T23:27:00.002+08:00

My Dear Sheepy(:
The purpose of a new structure is to bring greater growth.
As cliche as it sounds,

It's been like a roller coaster ride together with you all.

Almost a year, I guess. Been through countless of ups and downs.

I still remember the times when we had shepherding at AhMei's Cafe.

Haha, unforgettable.

Thankyou for being so obedient and open whenever I speak to you about the word.

Shepherding you all is like shepherding myself.

Do you know that as you learn from me, I learn from you too? (:
I thank God for the both of your lives

Jiayou in exploring the new land(:

CG08 to be completed by end Oct

Yes and Amen! (:

Internet's sucking my time out big time
Guess I'm gonna blog less often
I have to pin the O monster straight down to the ground

Can't afford to let BigDaddy and the people who believes in me down
It's either Do or Die

Wish me luck
and keep me in prayers please (:

2008-10-03T23:51:00.006+08:00

This week's rather fulfilling.
I finally got Siying to give herself her well deserved break on Tuesday.
Went to Yishun Stadium and did some running.
Though it was only 2Km, but the both of us really had a shioking good time perspiring all our worries and frustrations out.
It just felt awesome.
Let's do it again, buddy! (:

God's really looking highly on me amidst my O levels. A whole new structure has taken place in North and man, it was definitely beyond what I had expected. God is blessing me with an additional of 3 schools ! Would be leading together with Joshua and he too, is taking his O levels. Each time I think about it, I can't help but shake my head and say ''waaa this is crazy.. How?'' But I know perfectly well too, that there are reasons behind all these. It's all nicely planned out in God's organizer, I suppose. I am gonna tap on God's strength for sure , do what God wants me to do and walk in His pace. By hook or by crook and by faith, YishunTown Sec, Ahmad Ibrahim Sec, Sembawang Sec, Canberra Sec and NavalBase sec will complete CG08 by end of this month. When I started trying to see how God sees, man! This definitely can be done! Why limit myself when I have a limitless God? I am super duper excited by how God can and will use me in this crucial period of time and I am super duper certain that God's gonna use Joyce, Daniel, Vivien, Joshua and I to bring North C into greater heights. Bring it on man!!

2008-09-28T12:54:00.012+08:00

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY LOW SILUN!
See? This is our 全家福 , missing no one out except for Irish who had gone back to AMK
Hee..No worries, we’d still do what we do yearly without fail when it comes to your Birthday(:
Hint: Wet and cold

Thankyou for being the loudest and crappiest.
Without you, this group wouldn’t be complete.
Though you can be quite irritating with your penetrating voice,
we love you still(:
Hahahaha!

2008-09-25T22:07:00.005+08:00

Tossed and turned but I still can't get myself to a short nap before my revisions.
And then, these names slowly flashed through my mind

Angeline
Anatta
BengTe
ChengAn
GuoHan
HuiChan
Irish
Kelly
Joyce
JianXing
LiangPing
MingYang

Siying
Silun
Uncle Gerald
XinRu
YaoZhen
YinKay
YongQing
YokeLeng
ZhanQi
ZhangYan
ZhiYong
Zoey

I can't thank God enough for placing all these beautiful people in my life who had been constantly encouraging me, pushing me towards my limit, believing in me & telling me that I can make it through at the end of the race.
Each time I wanted to give up, you people pulled me up.
Each time I wanted to rant and complain, you guys gave a listening ear.
Your smses always came on time(:
Thankyou for all your words of encouragement and taking the initiative to assist in subjects which Im weak at.
I wouldn't let you all down, I can't bear to and I can't afford to.
I will grit my teeth and hang on, come what may.
I promise.

2008-09-23T19:30:00.007+08:00

Went down to bugis with YongQing last Sunday to get the watch which I'd been eyeing for a month. YongQing claimed that it's very manly but she still got the same one anyway. Haha! It's only for a few days and already it has some sentimental value to it(:

Met JoyceTan this evening for shepherding, and just as usual, I really enjoy talkin' to her. I could just share my heart out and not get bothered by how she'd see me. The teaching came in handy and on the right time- 'Mastering the art of possibility'.

Indeed, the primary reason why we think that 'it's impossible' , 'will never make it' or 'sure die', is because our focus is wrong. We think about the outcome, think about the things that we have to sacrifice in the process, think about how we should have worked harder or how things would
have turned out better if we hadn't made the wrong choice when the last thing we'd think about and do is to take hold of today. Ironic, isn't it?

I shall stop allowing myself to dwell into the '' I should have'' state of mind and start shifting my focus to ''Now I will''.. I want to have Faith. Not Fear. The last thing I want is to let Fear outweighs my Faith. Hahaha, I remember giving a teaching to my caregroup about Faith and Trustin the Lord and I could recall vividly that I said something which made them laugh but yet nod in agreement -''Shut up and just trust God''. Haha, I shall do just that.

2008-09-21T15:24:00.019+08:00

The long-awaited sentosa trip! Haha the girls and I zoomed to Sentosa as soon as the last paper for prelims was over. Man, I really had a great time with them. Didn't wanted to go down to the waters, but lookin' at the fun they were having in there, I resolutely pushed all my 'kia-si-ness'' aside and joined them. Now, my arms and face are red from all the sun burnt. Haha, it was a short break to kinda 'reward' us for mugging for Prelims. Now that it's over, we're now all heading to the final lap.

We then headed down to Vivo City to have our dinner. We even suggested to go eat at 'Crystal Jade' when there's only 10bucks or less in everybody's pocket. Haha! So we switched to LongJohn's. Due to the massive crowd, we took away our meals and continued to makan at the nearby playground(:

This is how red we all were!

Haha thanks all, for the great day. Thankyou, Silun, for your post too. It was really sweet of you(: I enjoyed myself a whole lot. This is just a short break. The O's monster's not defeated as yet. Let's all continue to strive harder for this final lap alright? Jiayou!! Mug hard and celebrate even harder after that! GO! GO! GO!

2008-09-16T23:16:00.000+08:00

LOVE

A word often said and misused.
What’s the definition of love, really?
A strong feeling of fondness, one might say?
An act of kindness, perhaps?
I’ve been thinking about the true definition of this four lettered word
It’s not as if I’m insecure and am lacking love or anything like that (LOL!)
But I guess the definition I have of this four lettered word in mind is rather superficial
And being the ultimate ‘thinker’ myself, I went to do some thinking..

The definition of love in the bible:1Cor13:4-8
''Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.''

I can’t help but shake my head after reading this verse. I guess the love I have for the people around me is just as superficial as the definition I have in mind. Yeah, indeed, true love is limitless and has no boundaries. A great classic example would be the Man who died on the cross some thousands years ago for undeserving people (I wanted to put morons) who does nothing but sin. If that isn’t love, then tell me, what is? They often say that if one wants to seek love, one has to first go back to the source of love. Now I’ve finally able to comprehend this statement.

Substitute the word ‘love’ , with the name of our Savior and you’ll know what I mean.

''Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind. Jesus does not envy, Jesus does not boast, Jesus is not proud. Jesus is not rude, Jesus is not self-seeking, Jesus is not easily angered, Jesus keeps no records of wrongs. Jesus does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Jesus always protects, Jesus always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. JESUS NEVER FAILS''

It’s a simple and fundamental lesson learnt.
But I am just so glad that I’ve learnt it in a different way this time (:

2008-09-15T21:15:00.002+08:00

Was happily munching and enjoying my drumstick from the sumptuous dinner that Grandma had prepared this evening and Mommy as usual, was having her meal and feeding my One year and 6months old nephew at the same time. She handed him a morsel of chicken and insisted him taking it with his own hands to consume it. And then again, it got me into thinking as I rewarded myself for the second drumstick (Haha!)

I could recall how happy the whole family was when BabyDaryl began crawling from one end to the other. We were even more ecstatic when he was able to stand up and walk during his First birthday before falling down and starting it all over again. And then I began comparing it to myself. I am a seventeen year old and I could walk, run, jump, roll and better still, I am able to do it all at the same time, let alone crawl. Then how come my family aren’t as excited for me? Why didn’t they cheer and spur me on like how they did to my (naughty) nephew?

Haha I wasn’t being insecure and self-centered, but I know there are more behind all these thoughts. So I began asking God to help analyze my thoughts. And this was what I’ve got:

Baby Daryl’s every ‘firsts’ in his life is just like our every breakthroughs in our lives (Be it physically/ spiritually)Our leaders and siblings in Christ are often spurring us on and pushing us to our utmost potential whenever we are in- the- process of having our own baby steps in raw areas which we’d never ventured or stepped in before. But yet each time when we’ve successfully hopped over the hurdles of fear, the people around us are proud of us. Imagine this. If Man are already so happy for our breakthroughs and victories, what more about God? Months and years after our breakthroughs and victories, we forget about it. It’s rubbed away from our memories. We forgot how we actually wanted it coming to pass sooo much at the first place. We forgot how much God was moving then and how he remained so faithful towards us. However, the truth is, even after the first breakthrough, the many breakthroughs coming along would still be precious to God. Remember the part when I said my family was so awed and happy when Baby Daryl took his first step? That’s the joy God has for us. Multiply it by hundreds and thousands. In the long run, those breakthroughs we once had and were once so proud of, would mean nothing to us. The scariest part is that we’d start pushing God out of the picture, thinking that we had all managed to achieve it not by the strength of God, but ours. Not by the ability of God, but ours. Man, it’s indeed scary.

I have no idea what’s the exact point I want to put across is. But I was very much reminded of God’s faithfulness and love for us. Presently, CG08 is the goal we are striving towards to and want it to come to pass so badly and desperately. I’d like to encourage you all to journal down your feelings and conviction. Man are absent minded. Whatsmore, feelings fade after a short period of time. Therefore, pen down how God had been so so faithful towards us. The many blessings and fruits He’d poured down. CG08’s gonna come to pass, for sure. I know it’s still early, but let’s continue to keep this thankful heart towards Him even after CG08 ends. At least, when we think ‘bout this victory, there’s a journal for us to refer to and know that it was God who used and equipped us to win this battle. Not the other way ‘round.

2008-09-14T00:26:00.002+08:00

I know my future’s in your hands

All of my hopes and dreams and plans

You gave me strength to live

And faith to succeed

I believe in you

Because you believe in me

Father, ever since you told me straight to my heart that you believed in me and that I am capable to shine in both pastoral and studies, I’d decided to resolutely pushed aside all my fears, worries and concerns. I know that as long as I walk in Your pace and in Your direction, I’d never go wrong. With a few stones, David was able to defeat Goliath. So can I. Take away all the negative thoughts within me and fill it with Your word. I never believed in myself. But You do. And who am I to say that I can’t when You, the mightiest of all, says that I can? Amidst this examination period, God, I want to have even more spiritual breakthroughs! I want to be even more prayerful. I know you’ll never walk out on me or abandon me. I’ll not flap my own wings and fly, ‘cuz I’d fall before I know it. ThankYou, Daddy, for Your faithfulness to me. At the end of the day, all Glory goes back to You, and completely You alone. Amen..

2008-09-11T00:06:00.009+08:00

I am supposed to be mugging right now.

But I guess I wouldn't be able to concentrate unless these thoughts within me are settled.
When I heard of the news from mom, the one that I first thought of to talk to is you.
Went to look at several photos and the above are just one of the many photos which made me smiled.

Thankyou for being here for me and listening to my complaints these few days.

My phone is filled with all your encouraging smses

Thankyou for going through this crucial period of time together with me.

I will hang on.

2008-09-08T22:03:00.002+08:00

It's raining cats and dogs outside.
Nothing beats the feel of watching the raindrops cascading down my window panes and listening to my favourite song, ''HeyJude'' at the same time.

What a blissful yet emo moment.

It would be too, an excellent weather to get myself tucked in bed and feel the warmth of my bedsheets

But before hitting the pillow, there's something else that I've first gotta hit.
The Books.

2008-09-07T18:45:00.005+08:00

Had a great time sharing with YongQing last night in Yishun Bus interchange, missing countless of our buses. And yes, indeed, we're serving for the audience of One and pleasing for the audience of One. Man are and should never be the reason why we do the things we do. Sometimes, I am really bothered by what others see and think about me. Especially so when there are false rumours speculating around. I used to go all the way to fight for my stand and clear all dubious statements 'bout myself. But you see, those are just insecurities. It's all 'bout ME. And that definitely shouldn't be the way. Now I've came to realize that it's simply pointless to fight for my stand. Pointless, pointless, pointless. The One above see all that I do and He is the only One whom I shall and will please. Joan, it's time to sharpen your focus!

God too, had been using me to speak to the people around me recently.

#1- A sister had recently left God and Yokeleng asked me ''If God knows that she would leave God later in her walk with Him, then why does He permits it?''. I asked God for wisdom and slowly answered her questions one by one. One of the things that I've told her was that God might be using HER to influnce her directly/indirectly and bring that sister back to God's arms.
And the next day, Yokeleng smsed me and told me that God is indeed using her to bring that sister back and she was so convicted by God. That alone, made my day (:

#2-Jade was rather discouraged 'bout certain stuff and God told me to remind her 'bout the exact thing that He spoke to me early this year when storms were just shooting like fiery javelines towards me. It was something like
''Great Dreams/Goal-> Great testings -> Great Influnce, Great Impact ->Great Victory! ''
And so, I smsed Jade and told her 'bout it and this was her reply ''Wow, that spoke to me alot. Thanks alot, you came at the exact timing!'

#3- Went studying with NorthA girls after service last evening and somehow, God just told me that there's something troubling Xinru and that I had to approach and talk to her. But for some reason, I was unable to approach her. However, later at night, she smsed me and told me that actually she had something to share with me.

Seems like it has all got to do with texting. Haha! God is indeed real and moving.
Those smses never fails to bring a smile onto my face.
and God too, never ever fails to amaze me(:

2008-09-03T23:08:00.004+08:00

My confidence level when it comes to academics would definitely be a number with a negative sign. Like what my cousin said, I really gotta stop thinking 'bout the uncertainties within me and start thinking towads the postivie side & look up unto God. Worrying doesn't work things out. Nor would it help me in defeating the big O' monster coming my way. I also came to realize that the more I panic, the more nothing is done. I shall just take a chill pill and do my best(:

After spending some time watching some HongKong drama with my family last night, I went back to my room, grabbed my pen & journal, hopped on to my bed & began writing/ranting/pouring out to God. It's been months since I last penned my thoughts in there. I had a shioking good time having a deep heart-to-heart session with Him and it feels great (: It is always so comforting to know that there's someone who listens to you 24/7 with not even a tinge of judgement.

God, I am ready for more(:

2008-08-31T22:55:00.002+08:00

I know it's kinda late, but ohwell(:

Dearest Rebecca,

You've been a great blessing in my life.
I enjoy going to choir practs with you and crap in isle cafe after it(:
And like I said, I admire your desire to grow in the WOG
You always ask me questions about the word and I too, enjoy answering them
You've grown alot too(:
From the girl who spoke in an ant-like way to someone who dares to speak out boldly.
Come to think of it, your growth was quite evident.
Reading the posts that you've put up in NorthA's blog,
I can't help but feel so proud of you(:

When I prayed for you,
God dropped this word within me..

''Shine''
You're gonna have greater breakthroughs, I am certain.
You're gonna shineshineshineshineshine!

你是NorthA的骄傲(:

2008-08-31T19:06:00.001+08:00

Does anyone has the book, ''The last lecture'' ?
Care to lend? (:

2008-08-28T19:35:00.003+08:00

Even though I was revising for my stronger subject last night, I got so stressed out that I dropped my pen and began tearing. Took my phone and confided in some people. And this was what I've got:

SiYing- ‘You got my support. I believe you can make it through! You gotta think positively so as to succeed. Come on! Must have self-confidence!’

JoyceTan- ‘You can do it! I’ll support you all the way (: ’

XinRu- ‘别担心。当你觉得最俗手无策时，我不保证会在你身旁，但记得我在想着你，在为你着急. Don’t worry girl, I know God will make a way, this whole family is in this with you. Don’t stress yourself too much, or even think you’re inadequate. ‘Cuz God is the God of peace. He does things none can fathom. Jiayou, Joan, my dear friend. Jesus is waiting for you at the ending line. He holds the future, and now I guess he’s waiting for you to振作起来吧. He totally understands how you feel. I cant. He can help you in every single thing. I cant. He is there for you at the examination hall. I cant.’

With that, I rubbed away my tears, picked up my pen and continued revising.
For You, I will run.

2008-08-27T15:46:00.005+08:00

时间啊，时间，

你能否在这儿多逗留一下，

好让我离开得甘愿一点。。

时间啊，时间，

你能否走得慢一点，

好让我能更珍惜身边的一切一切

时间啊，时间，

拜托，拜托。。

请别那么赶！):

2008-08-25T21:31:00.003+08:00

A photo taken before Siying went for her O's Eng Oral.
Mine was a day before hers but she seemed even more nervous than I did.
She'd been working really hard as she'd not done that well during the Prelims.
Was so glad when I'd received a phonecall from her, telling me that it went pretty well.
A big thumbs up for you, dumbdumb! (:

Whoo, Silun made Brownies and Honey CornFlakes for us all too!!
Had been anticipating for it since last week(:
I shall attempt to make some for you girls soon.
And don't even talk about food poisoning, I warn you!
Wahahaha!

2008-08-24T21:10:00.003+08:00

Each time I feel inadequate, You assured me..
Each time I fall, You picked me up..
Each time I wanted to give up, You pushed me beyond my limits and what I can do..
You believed in me..
You saw the light within me..
You saw how much more I could contribute to this Kingdom of Yours..

Things might be tedious right now..
But Daddy, I am not giving up..
Despaired? Yes, I am..
Discouraged? Definitely..
Afraid? Perhaps..
Giving up? NEVER!

My fingers are only inches away from reaching the finishing line..
I am not gonna turn my head back and give up just like that..
I would be a total fool if I were to do so..
You said in Isa45:7 that You're the one who created the light and made the darkness,
sent the good times and the bad times..
Therefore, I am gonna wait for Your timing..
'Cause I know my future is already set..
The present sufferings are nothing as compared to the future glory that's gonna be revealed in time to come..

I am gonna hold Your hands,
and walk beside You..
In your pace, not mine..
All I have to do is to follow You..
I have no idea where You're gonna lead me to
But as long as I am with You,
I know, for sure, that I am not going anywhere wrong..

2008-08-21T22:06:00.003+08:00

Mid this year, Daddy & Mommy told me that we're gonna move by end of this year and most probably, it's gonna be in the East area. And guess what?

We really ARE moving! But not to the East.

The latest news is that we're gonna move over to Khatib's Condo! Not very sure of the name though. But what excites me the most is that besides my parents & nephew, I'd be living with Grandpa, Grandma & Uncle! I am elated! That way, I get to spend more time with my Grandparents(: Like how I'd used to when I was much much younger. So many people living under one roof. Conflicts and friction are inevitable, but Im pretty sure we'd be even more closely knitted(:
Everything's still rather here-and-there. However, Grandma said if nothing goes wrong, we're gonna move in by October(:

Yay!! God, you rock my socks man!

2008-08-20T01:02:00.003+08:00

I remember how Michelle & I used to take out all the pots, pans, teacups, glasses, plates and play the game of ‘Restaurant’ .
I remember how Michelle & I would use the money that Daddy had left for dinner to buy sweets & tidbits.
I remember how Michelle & I would skip Chinese dance during Primary school & go play badminton instead.
I remember how Michelle & I used to pen down each & every ‘lil naughty things we’d done to each other and use it for blackmailing.
I remember how Michelle & I used to have the exact hair cut and people would mistake us for being twins despite the height difference.
I remember how Michelle & I were punished to kneel in front of the wall ‘cuz we fought despite the countless of warnings from Daddy.
I remember how Michelle & I used to stay over at Grandpa and Grandma’s place every weekend.
I remember how Michelle & I used to have pillow fights at night.
I remember how Michelle & I would follow Grandma to shop for CNY clothes/shoes & Michelle would cry at the end of the day ‘cuz I had my pretty shoes while she didn’t. Blame it on her large feet.
I remember how Michelle & I used to wait at the bus stop under our block for Mommy to return from work so that we could go to the library together.
I remember how Michelle & I held on to each other after waking up in the morning. I forgot why.
I remember how Michelle had piggy-backed me when I was crying alone in the living room.
I remember how I would stand in front of Michelle with arms stretched out whenever she gets caned for being naughty & how I’d be mad at her when she doesn’t do the same for me.

-Then I don’t know what happened. Everything changed.-

When I was younger, I’d think of being my sister’s bridesmaid when she gets married in future. You know, help her out with her gown and make up and stuff like that. I am still holding on to this dream.
I never told her I loved her. I thought there wasn’t a need. I took her for granted when I was younger & now that she’s not here, I long for her presence. Just give me her presence, God..
Nothing more than that.

I miss you, JieJie..
Very very badly..

2008-08-18T21:11:00.002+08:00

Insolent teenagers yelling & screaming at their parents with vulgarities in public.
With such puerile sense of thinking , it’s no surprise that such blithering & inane ‘vocabularies’ are blurted out from their mouths. Whatever happened to basic mannerisms?

Observe the Youths nowadays and the big fat word, ‘E.M.P.T.Y’ is stamped on to the majority of their foreheads.
That group of youngsters puffing their lungs out outside Cineleisure.
That young couple getting intimate with each other in public with their uniforms on.
Yes, even that quiet girl with the thick glasses on, totally engrossed with her revisions.
They need Jesus.

I am not trying to sound conceited. I am a youth myself and am still learning and growing. But I seriously can’t fathom how ruined and corrupted my life would be without Him. I would most probably be this demanding and self-centered girl who thinks that the world revolves around none but her.

There’s this emptiness in all of us. Some fill it with pleasures of the world while some fill it with achievements which in return, gives them a sense of satisfaction. However, this ‘Hole’ is uniquely and specially made by someone. And true enough, it can only be filled by this someone who had created this ‘Hole’. The empty void inside can only be filled by Him. The empty chair within us can only be occupied by Him. No matter how hard as one tries to replace it with something else, it would still be a total waste of effort.

2008-08-17T20:08:00.003+08:00

Goodness. I actually had 6hours straight of Mathematics today! (Alright, perhaps lesser than that 'cuz I actually took a long long long long while by just staring at the paper) With the help of my dearest cousin, of course. Zoey popped down to our place in the morning and Daddy was so happy about it. Finally there's someone to sit her little girl down and make her ''fellowship'' with Math. It was not as bad as I thought, though I got a wee bit restless (Okay, maybe alot) after several hours. Thereafter, got Zoey to help me change the blogskin. Simple & nice. I like.
Man, I really can't thank her enough for taking the time and effort in travelling all the way down from Pasir Ris to Yishun. She was extremely patient with me. It's a miracle she did not vomit blood. Thankyou, Deary(:

2008-08-14T17:49:00.004+08:00

Make Sense, But Yet Not Quite

Melting: Solid--> Liquid
Boiling: Liquid--> Gas
Freezing: Liquid--> Solid

Condensation: Gas--> Liquid

Sublimation: Solid-->Gas

Joan: Hey, can you give me an example of Sublimation?

MingYang: Err... No idea

2Minutes later, he turned around with a sheepish look

MingYang: I know alr! Joss sticks lor! Joss sticks are solid mah. When you light them up, there's smoke mah! Hahaha!

*Faint

2008-08-12T00:01:00.005+08:00

'INBOX'

‘Thanks. Keep me in prayer(:’
‘God, I pray for Joan that You’ll heal her of any discomfort she’s having. Lord, take every single sicknesses she has IN JESUS’ NAME. Heal her Lord. Ijn, Amen! :D’
‘Ok :D Thank you shepherd! :D Luv ya’
‘..Love you, sheep(:’
‘..Just want to tell you that we really love you a lot…’
‘..Don’t give up sista! Jiayou! God is the strength of your heart!’
‘..Know that this is the family that is gonna stick through storms. Let’s grow as a whole team(:’
‘..God take away her throat infection, her flu and prevent any other illness to start. God, boost her health, that she’ll not be held back by her discomfort, but rather, be so energized for you that she can give you her best to you! God, heal her, in Jesus’ name, Amen.’
‘Miss you(:’
‘Dearest! You feeling okay? Lol, take care alright. I miss you very much. Note the word,VERY!’
‘Get well soon! Will be praying for you(:’
‘Rest well!’
‘Joan! We’re all praying for you. Jiayou 4 O’s! … love ya!’

These are the few messages I have in my Inbox.
Somehow, unknowingly, I always look at them every once in a while.
I like to keep such messages in my phone, it never fails to bring a smile onto my face.
Even though I’m no longer sick, those get-well-soon messages & prayers still mean so much. Simply can’t thank God enough for the people He’d placed in my life who constantly shower me with love, care & concern.
Appreciate the little time taken by just a little move of the fingers on your phone :)

2008-08-09T22:23:00.002+08:00

I think God had reminded a lot of us in NorthA to thank Him in all circumstances.
Every week seemed like a dreadful and tiring one,
often resulting myself in a deranged state of mind.
However, there is always something to thank God for, for sure.

I guess the best way is to always leave everything unto the One who controls.
There is only so much that we can do.
There is only so much that we can all contribute.
Man alone can never do up to 100%.
God has to intercede.
We, of course, should do our part by putting in our best.
Worrying is never the cure/solution to problems.

Pray.
Fundamental yet essential.
I saw this statement somewhere and I liked it so much that I penned it down into my Bible.
‘Life is fragile. Handle it with prayer.’
Praying has always been very natural to me ever since I accepted Christ.
However, I wanna pray with Substance. Not praying with an empty head.
That is babbling. Not praying.
I want to pray more, and make deliberate effort to pray for the people around me as well.
Every night I am praying for my Family’s Salvation, praying (not hoping) that they’d come and acknowledge the awesome God that I’m serving someday.
One day, they’re gonna have that love within them too.
I simply can’t fathom what it would be like.
However, I am very much certain that it’d come to pass(:

2008-08-07T17:49:00.002+08:00

Went to the Doctor's today.

Throat Infection and Flu, he said.

I'm feeling much better after all the medicines already.

Thankyou all who sent me get-well-soon messages and prayers

Meant a lot(:

2008-08-03T20:12:00.003+08:00

Beautiful(:

Tomorrow's a new week.

Soon, it'll be yet another week.

Enough of all the talking.

It's time to put it all into actions.

Procrastination kills.

Keep me in prayers(:

2008-08-01T21:00:00.005+08:00

Went to Jog.
Had a cool shower.
Drank a cup of Orange Juice.

OhBoy, Now I feel so much more refreshed and energized!
The picture of an orange above is enough to make me drool already.
Come to think of it, I actually had Honey Red Tea 5 times for the whole of this week.

There’s so many random ‘’I-want-to’’s going on in my head right now.
I want to learn horse-riding.
I want to occupy myself with books and read all day long. (Man, I will try this someday)
I want to swim with Dolphins.
Haha, okay, I shall stop babbling.

This week’s another hushy-rushy-swish-swoshy one.
It was definitely a much tiring week.
Tests , Revisons and Homeworks. It’s driving me bonkers.
On a brighter note, I am elated as well(:
Grandpa, Grandma and Uncle came over early this week for a ‘’durian-session’’.
Mommy & Daddy were not working on that day too, so yeah,
we had a great time chatting/eating/crapping for the whole evening.
It had been a long time since we did that.

Thankyou all, for the encouragement and prayers too
I am coping well and am still clinging on, no worries(:
Oh, and I just realized something.
Know what’s the best way to tackle hardships coming your way?
A smile(:
Sometimes, things are not that complicated/tough as it seem from the surface(:

2008-07-28T22:45:00.001+08:00

The Silence Of Friendships-

Sometimes, when I feel like I’m down in the deepest pit, what I want isn’t words or hugs.
Not even a listening ear.
Silence- That’s the best anyone could provide.
Just to sit by your side, say nothing & do nothing.
The presence is all that matters.
Demanding, one might say?
But to me, the presence is all that matters.
Knowing that someone is there beside me is comforting enough.

These few days were pretty wet for me. By that I meant that I teared a lot. This post is not to gain sympathy nor to broad-cast to others that I am one very strong girl. I live a translucent life. I just want to share what I’ve been growing through lately and my thoughts. Hopefully, it’ll be able to spur someone on/ encourage them in one way or another.

I have an elder sister who gave birth at the mere age of 18. Nope, she never got married. My whole family went through a lot- from facing all sorts of gossips around the neighborhood to taking responsibilities of babysitting nephew. Looking back, I am glad that we’d pulled through together. Babynephew had brought much joy in this family. This little life actually pulled each and every individual together. My responsibilities increased drastically too. Unfortunately, my sis never grew outta her childish thinking. To cut the story short, I played two roles: My nephew’s Aunt and Mom. I always needed to come back home early to take care of him, often resulting in my neglect of ministry and studies. I never complained. ‘Cuz taking care of him was never a pain in the neck. In fact, it was great joy.

However, more responsibilities were stacked upon my shoulders and many problems just came all at once, I didn’t even had time to dodge or raise the white flag. Just a few days ago, I had these thoughts: ‘’This is definitely not what a 17 year old should be doing. Why is my sister stealing my freedom when I could take that time to hang out with my friends, spend more time with my cg and studies? And yet she could have all the fun outside? Why am I bearing the consequences of the mistake that she’d committed?’’ I felt so stressed, I broke down. There was only babynephew and myself at home at that point of time. And he was soundly asleep in the play-pen. I sobbed so hard and loud that he woke up. Stood up (still in his play-pen), looked at me and cried. Soyeah, you get the picture. This darling of mine is only a year and 4months old, yet he knew that his aunt was upset. He stretched his arms towards me, as if signaling me that he wants to gimme a hug of comfort. I took him out and the both of us continued crying (Dramatic, I know, but true). In the end, he cried himself to sleep in my arms. I looked at him and many thoughts came rushing in my mind just there and then.

My nephew needs me.

As much as I feel inadequate and the fact that I am young, my nephew needs me. My family needs me. The financial state in future is dependent on me. These two factors are more than enough to motivate me to strive hard. For my loved ones, I will stand strong. Sometimes not much of I want, but more of I’ve got to. As for my sister, all I can do is to influence her indirectly and constantly keep her in prayers. I am not ashamed of my sister. She is my sister and I gladly proclaim that. I love her and I long for her to have that love within me from my Heavenly Father.

I don’t know what the message that I want to put across is. Am facing many trials and testings but I know that problems are not continual. They do have an end. I guess God’s really pruning me. No testings are ever easy. But I will rejoice. For the Lord, my God is with me wherever I go. I am honored. He’s looking highly on me. Soyeah, for those who are at the verge of giving up, hang on. Cling on to Him who provides. God place testings in our lives not to condemn us/prove to us that we are weak and He’s the mighty one. We can take advantage of the circumstances we are in. Do not compare or complain bout what you do not have but rather, see what you have and go on from there.

We all have a choice, don’t we?

2008-07-23T22:08:00.002+08:00

The stress is piling upon me.
Feeling lethargic and inadequate.
Restless physically but definitely not spiritually.
I thank God for the prayermeets every evening which refreshes my soul, heart and mind.
I am not doing this for Nothing.
When I was doing quiet time two days ago, God dropped this verse in me:

Rom8:18(NIV)
''I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us''

The message version:
''That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens''

Indeed, our sufferings and hurts that we get now is nothing compared to the glory which He would reveal to us in time to come.
I am gonna hang on.

2008-07-22T22:26:00.011+08:00

This post is dedicated to my clique in YSS(:

(Mind you, it's quite a lengthy post)

Ta-daa~ These are my beautiful girls(:

Siying; My dumbdumb(:

I teared when I read your post. Indeed, it was a moving one. Do you know that i actually kept the last letter you gave me in my pencil case? Your words are encouraging. Just when I wanted to give up, your letter came. Each time I feel down, I take it out and read and I feel much better. I dont know how to describe this friendship of ours. We've been friends since primary school but only got to know and understand each other only just this two years. I've seen you grow from someone rebellious to a girl who takes pride in everything that she does. I love your attitude when you are determined to do something. That's something I'd really want to learn from. Sure, there are times when Im having doubts of this friendship, I think if it is worth my investment and commitment. But now I can tell you that I am secure in this friendship(: Though I am unable to turn the clock back to enjoy the times we had (Vivo city, Valentine's day etc), I am glad that the photos are there. They are precious memories I'd never forget. I enjoy studying with you too. Thankyou for coaching me in my weaker subjects. Iloveyou(:

Kelly; Dino cum Fat Fat Old Cucumber cum MotherBear

Haha! You've got so many nicknames. You know what? I really like your character. You're always smiling (or laughing). I rarely see a frown on your face, let alone seeing you with a black face for a day. I know behind the smiley face, you face problems which you never really shared. However, you never let it affect you. Thankyou for always not shoving away every single time I laid on you whenever I am tired. Thankyou for always telling me ''Joan, Jiayou!'' whenever I receive my math test (LOL!) I really really really am very touched each time you tell me that. Thankyou for playing the motherly role in this clique. Haha! Iloveyou(:

Yinkay; 可爱的yinkay

You were the first friend I got close to since the Day one I stepped into this school. Do you remember that you were the one who taught me how to serve in Badminton? And we got so happy when we were in School team? Haha. You are definitely the 小姐 in this clique. You never fail to complain whenever you're under the sun. Indeed, you've changed. You're no longer that little introvert girl already. Turned to a wild girl. You're always full of stupid pranks, like making Yaozhen's phone ring during Math class. LOL! Iloveyou(:

Silun; 白刘谢 (Haha!)

Hahahahahaha! I never fail to laugh whenever I see you. I could die of laugher if I were to stick around with you for 24 hours man. Haha! See? I cant even stop laughing now! If our clique's made up of clowns, then you're definitely the clown of clowns! You play an important role in this clique cuz you bring a lot of laughter in this group becuz of your BHB-ness. I know you're serious in becoming an Air Stewardess. Though we often joke and tease you about it, we sincerely wish you the best. HAHAHAHAHAHA! By the way, your laughter is as horrible as mine okay. Haha! Iloveyou(:

Huichan; Chan mali chan, Cat lover!

Hey you! Hahaha! You're always the one who save us whenever there's a cat coming our way. Remember the time when a cat was under Siying's table and she totally freaked out? There was cat during Morning Assembly today as well and I cant believe you actually ''Meow-ed'' the cat over =.= I know we're both Math-Haters, but we do not have a choice this year. Let's do it once and get it over and done with alright? We've got help everywhere(: Jiayou, ChanChan! Iloveyou(:

Yaozhen!

Haha, I doubt you'd ever see this. But still(: I've always thought that you're some demure and gentle girl. But I was wrong! Haha! You don't do naughty stuff like we do, all you'd ever do is laugh laugh laugh and laugh and poke jokes on Silun every once in a while. Jiayou for the big O coming our way yea! Iloveyou(:

Yours Truly,

laughing machine; happy monster(:

5 Year Clique(:

This was what the girls were doing when the 4 of us were rehearsing for the FashionShow

They made a poster for us!! (:

范老师(:

The teacher who never fails to tease me - Mr Nor!

Miss Hew~ (:

Beloved Form Teacher- Mr Raju(:

I love 5n3~ (Though many are missing in this photo)

YinKay & I (:

Lol! Unglam, I know. But it was really hot.

ChanChan(:

Girlsssssss~

FashionShow Participants~

2008-07-18T18:32:00.001+08:00

Indeed, Love has no Boundaries(:

2008-07-15T00:06:00.002+08:00

Received a bad news today. In that instant, I actually felt nothing at all. Shocked? Stunned?
Why would it be, since I've already expected it coming? Went Home straight and started digesting the truth and tears just started streaming down unknowingly.

My Friend, you mean more than a Friend to me. And you too, know how much I treasure and value each Friendships in my life. If you want me to turn my back against you and just walk you out, then you're really wrong. This friendship is more than the sweet smses, letters, gifts, hugs and words which were spoken and given. I am not gonna back out. Never.

2008-07-13T23:28:00.012+08:00

WATER BAPTISM

It's definitely one of the most significant day of my entire life.

I remembered during the previous Water Baptism ceremony, I was so awed by it that I went home and searched for a name and since then, I've been waiting for this day(:

It was entirely a decision made by Faith.

I knew I wanted to do this.

I didnt wanted to wait.

I did not ask for Daddy's opinion until this morning..

Andyes, he agreed(:

Sharlene and Xiangyu prayed for me..

I was trembling with cold and couldnt recall much,

but it has definitely got to do with Strength, Might and Power (In leading my grp).

God's gonna use me as a mouthpiece to influence the people around me.

Was jumping and running around with joy after the ceremony.

I am elated(:

Let the photos do the talking(:

Ariella Joan is Born (Lionnes of God)

Before Ceremony (My precious ones)

Trust me, it was colddddd~

You two know how much you all means to me(:

JellyFiiiish~ Thankyou((:

Pastor Jefffffff !! I was soooo happy to be standing beside this great man of God

(Right) - My clowny sheep(:

Thankyou for witnessing, Dearies(:

The Joy within is indescribable(:

There's so much to share, Im gonna pen it all down in my diary later.. Heee

Thankyou all for the beautiful postcards and gifts..

JoyceTan, thankyou for the Blue rose.. Love it(:

Iloveyou, Shepherd!

2008-07-12T23:19:00.003+08:00

Dear Mathematics,

I promise to love you, but please please do help me to love you even more. Sometimes I can't help but just have the urge to tear and burn you into bits and pieces and fiery javelines would start shooting outta my eyeballs. I have not been communicating well with you for the past few years, but I really have no choice this year. Please make my job easier, will you? You're totally unlovable (in my opinion, that is) and often is the reason for my hair loss. But I shall love you this time 'round. Let's have a deal, shall we? You help me till end of this year and I promise to leave you alone for the rest of my life(: Sounds great yea? I think so too. DEAL !

Your Temporal Best Friend Wannabe,
JoanHoeJiayi(:

2008-07-06T23:01:00.002+08:00

Was talking to WeiKeat about the growth of YishunSec and my taking of O levels:

Weikeat -- One life , one choice ... live it out for GOD , i lay my life before your feet says:
hmm ... hey , you have to glorify God's name
Weikeat -- One life , one choice ... live it out for GOD , i lay my life before your feet says:
1 way to defend his name is to live your life out
Weikeat -- One life , one choice ... live it out for GOD , i lay my life before your feet says:
the whole yishun sec guys and girls are looking at you as their example

I need to regain confidence when it comes to academics. It's possible within this crucial period.
'Cuz my God is an awesome God. He will provide. This would be another testimony that I would witness & share when it's over.

2008-07-05T23:05:00.003+08:00

Had been waiting for this day for so long!
It's here finally!

It's my first time ministering on stage after becoming a support singer.
ThankGod for the opportunity. I had a great time.
It's so awesome to see people really jumping with zeal and wide smiles on their faces and also worshipping God whole-heartedly, raising their hands high up. I'd never be sick of this sight. It was especially heart-warming to see people streaming down the aisle to say ''Yes'' to Jesus and acknowledge Him to be their Lord and Saviour. Man, I almost teared. I looked at them one by one and many many thoughts came into my mind. These are the people who are gonna be part of CGO8. These are the people who are gonna be part of the Great Commission. These are the people who are gonna run together with me in this marathon. These are the people I'm going Heaven with!

Just received a message from Louis which made me ''ahhhhhhh-ed'' for a minute.
He said he actually felt God's presence through my voice!
Yay!! God, you Rock! ((:

Thankyou all too, for those who took the effort to sms, telling me to ''jiayou'' and your prayers as well. Thankyou, too, for my team (Yushan, Xiangyu, Samuel & Winstar) for your help and guidance. Really appreciate it!

Father, I know I am a teeny weeny bit closer to fulfilling my dreams for you. I won't stop. I won't give up. Im not gonna back out. Until and unless it come to pass. I dont know how. But ''how'' is never an issue for you, I know. Use me beyond my limits, for then I'll know that it's not myself but it's entirely and completely you. I am excited to see how you would shape me as time goes by.

This voice is Yours. This life belongs to You.

2008-07-01T21:43:00.004+08:00

I can't thank you enough for believing and seeing the potential in me whenever I feel inadequate and down.
Each time when I fall, you grabbed my arm and pulled me up.
Thankyou for investing your time, effort, energy and your life in mine.
Besides God, I guess no one would really believe and see the potential in me like how you do.
You have no idea how much it means to me.
It's only when you started to believe in me, then i began to believe in myself.

Pastoral. Ministry. Studies.
You'll witness to the fulfillment of my dreams for God.
You'll see me shine!

2008-06-30T22:20:00.004+08:00

This week had been like a battelfield. Trials after trials. Testings after testings. Each time when i wanna let go and give up, I thank God for the people whom He had placed in my life to encourage and affirm me. I thank God for God. Without the Bible, I guess I would never have had made it through. At first I got very frustrated. Then i sat myself down and slowly answered the many question marks which popped right into my head. For once, I begin to see the big picture.

I dont want to just sit there and complain 'bout the many things that I am unhappy and dissatisfied with. If i were to complain, there's too much in this world to complain. Instead of wasting time complaing, might as well find a solution and conviction to pull through. I want to go through storms with JOY. To sail through the sea of storms and ultimately seeing the rainbow at the end of the day. I am not perfect, but I have a perfect God. I have my limits, but my God is limitless and has no boundaries.

(2cor12:9-10)
''But He said to me ''My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.''

(Matt11:28-30)
''Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.''

(1Jas1:2-4)
''Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testings of your faith develops perseverence. Perseverence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.''

(Rom5:3-5)
''Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces Perseverence; Perseverence, Character; and Character, Hope. And Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the HolySpirit, whom He has given us.''

(Heb6:19a)
''We have this Hope as anchor for the soul, firm and secure. ''

These verses comforts and assures me that whatever I do for this Kingdom is well worth it.
I will claim these promises by Faith!

2008-06-24T21:18:00.003+08:00

THE RACE(:

And so, the thought of jogging for at least thrice a week popped into my mind this afternoon. Reasons?
#1: To practice Self-Discipline
#2: To listen more to God
#3: To lose weight, of course (Heehee)

Came back home around 8pm from Joyce's meeting, changed, and went out to jog.
Told God I wanted to run with Him, plugged in my earpiece and started running.
Ran the usual path I used to run. In the past, I'd feel like falling flat on the ground after half a round or lesser than that. However, today I actually managed to run non-stop. I smiled as I ran and sang along with the praise songs. In fact, with each step that I take, it was lighter than the previous one. Although i was physically drained, my legs just took control of my body and it just continued running non-stop. For each time that i felt like giving up, I asked God for strength and perseverance. I kept running till the lift of my block and upon reaching there, I stretched my arm wide open like as if I'd reached the finishing line of a race. I was so overjoyed and overwhelmed that I broke down in my room as soon as I called my Shepherd to tell her of my experience with God. I know it sounds dramatic, but i couldn't stop thanking God. I knew, there and then, that I had ran with God. I really ran with Him!

I wanna run like that with God in my walk with Him. I know for sure, that if I'd ever make the decision to run alone, I'd not make it. Confirm, Chop, Stamp.

*Waves Frantically
God, I'll run with you!

2008-06-23T21:46:00.002+08:00

School was fun(:

Surprisingly, for once, I did not drag myself off the bed. I was really energetic. ThankGod for the people who came early for the Prayermeet(: We did ''ACTS'' for prayers and I could really see that people were refreshed and energized after the Prayermeet. Yay! to you, God!

Had a great time crapping and laughing with the girls for the first few free periods. School's not such a bore, after all(:

Headed down to NYP to find Zoey. Am gettin' help from her for my studies. Thankyou, Dearest(: Your time and all, I really appreciate it. I would never fail to laugh (really loud and hard) whenever Im with you. Thankyou! You're the best cousin ever!

2008-06-21T23:07:00.003+08:00

Edited by one of my sheep, Tingting. Thankyou for the many many photos that you had sent me(: Haha. Appreciate it !

I wanna thank God for two of my sheep: Tingting & Liyan
I know you girls have been working hard for this Kingdom. You girls have grown so much! All credits and glory goes to God. Thankyou for persevering. Lookin' at your lives, I am once again reminded that all that Im investing in this Kingdom is worthwhile. Im sure God would definitely use you girls even more. Do not doubt God's abilities. Just give your 100% and God will do the rest. It's okay if you do not have the skills as yet. The heart's all that matters(: I would go all means and ways to help and grow you. With all that you have, Serve Him! God will bring you to greater heights, I am soooo sure!

I am having another sheep soon too(: MandySoh! Welcome to the Family!
I really like your spirit. Am really encouraged by the decision that you've made.
The reason was simple. It's just 'cuz you saw the value behind it all. Let's see the completion of CG08 soon and very soon, alright? I dont know how, but one thing for sure, God's gonna use, prune, and grow you BIG time !

Ohman, I am soo excited by how God's gonna use each and every inidividuals in NorthA.
I am watching , God! Im gonna witness to it ! (:

2008-06-16T21:18:00.002+08:00

Imagine this. What if the world's gonna end in, say, 5hours time?
What are the things that you would want to do?
I am sure it has all got to do with ''People''.
Not just any other people, but people who loves and cares. People who matters in your life.

In that moment, fame and wealth would make no sense. The certificates hung on the walls of your bedroom are nothing but pieces of paper. The trophies placed nicely on the display cabinet would be of no significance any longer. See? Ultimately, these are not the things that would matter at the end of the day. I am not trying to say that we should end our education/career right now and go hug the people who means a lot to us all day long. What i am trying to convey is that, people matters.

If people already mean so so so so so much to us humans, how much more does God feel towards us? If what we love is already called ''unconditional love'', then how much more deeper is God's love for us? If what we give is already called ''generous'' , then how much more unselfish and giving is God, whom gave His one and only beloved & precious Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for ignorant and imperfect human beings who do nothing but sin?

2008-06-15T21:31:00.004+08:00

Dearest Candace(:

Had a great time of fellowshipping today. (:
Travelled down to JoyceTan's place.
The two crazy girls, Yongqing and Anqi were already there. Xinru joined us later.
Ooh, and I had a haircut! By Joyce and YongQing(:
Not bad, i must say. Haha! I feel so much ''lighter'' after that.
Now, I can get free haircuts as and when i like(:

2008-06-13T20:05:00.004+08:00

Im back to the world!

Haha, yea, I guess I could say I’ve lost touch with the world for consecutively 4days and 3nights. Oasis camp at Downtown East was just indescribable! I had a great time fellowshipping with my crazy and noisy sisters. Bear with me, I have so much to share!

I met some of the sisters during the first morning to travel down to Downtown East together. As I was lookin’ outta the window of the bus, I wondered how God would move in this camp. I was clueless.

North won the game for the first day! Man, I really gave my all. It was real fun! Though we were tired and smelly after the game, I could just see the sense of satisfaction in each and every one of their faces.
That night was also another night I would never forget. It was my first time standing up on stage, doing support singing for praise and worship. I had fun. It was definitely a great experience gained. Im glad I did not felt much difference worshipping God on stage. To see the people jumping and praising God with zeal and passion. To see hands raising all high up and worshipping Him. The sight of all these warms my heart.

The scintillating teachings, powerful testimonies etc just convicted me even more that God is real and moving. No one hardly paid scant attention to the teacher/pastor/speaker on stage. They shared with so so so much conviction, joy and passion.

The dreams and visions that God had planted within me before and after camp, at first I was like ‘God! You serious? This is no joke! How isit possible?’. But then I came to realize that this thought is just an insult to God. I have a Big God. Shouldn’t I too, accomplish big things for Him?

‘My child..I will use you only if you allow me to’
We really gotta desire to be used. It really is a matter of our willingness and courage to step outta that line of comfort zone.

I felt God’s presence.
I heard His heartbeat.
Im privileged of Him choosing me out of the thousands of people He could have picked
Im speechless by His huge , early and well prepared plans for me and this world.
I was and still am awed by what why & how does He wanna change and influence this world.

There’s not a scintilla of truth in what the Satan says. Let us be obstinate in the WOG, not yielding to the preposterous and inane plans and traps of Satan. We shall run this relay with great pride and honour. No stigma attached.

The victory of the games North won had already proven that being small is no excuse/hindrance. Let’s get it over and done with CG08 and get on to the next thing! Cant you see? Jesus is cheering for us. He’s anticipating for us to reach that finishing line.

Run, My fellow runners!

2008-06-08T21:58:00.002+08:00

A random photo that i quite like personally. Hahaha. Xinru too eh? Thanks for always being my rubbish bin. You've collected loads & chunks of nonsense from this laughing cum noise machine.

Ohyea, this post is meant for my clowny clique. Im off to Camp already (It's tmr) Will be back on thursday. Sms me if you girls miss me alright? Haha!

Whoo-Hoo!! Oasis camp!! HERE I COME!!!

2008-06-07T22:59:00.002+08:00

Beloved Nephew,

I thank God for the miracle He had done in your life even before you were on this earth. I thank you for your presence. It is you who bonded the whole family together, knitting us closer to each other. I thank you for bringing so much happiness and joy into my life. I thank you for your kisses. Each & everytime when i come home, the sight of you would never fail to bring a smile to my face.

You might not have many toys to play with. You might not have companions/siblings to play with you. You might not have a Daddy. You might not have a Mommy who really cares for you. The thought of all these hurts me a lot. An innocent child doesnt deserve all these. You deserve much more! However, please be assured that this whole family is a back-up team for you.

I would play the role of your Mommy as well as your Aunt. I would make sure that there's no hindrances of you pursuing your education. Together with your grandparents, I would go all means to bring you up. I wouldnt at all mind laying my life down for you.

Love, Your Aunt/Mommy/Friend/Companion

2008-06-03T21:28:00.002+08:00

For those who are struggling/ still not able to sense that urgency of the big scary 'O',

this is for you(:

Still got one gorgeous model to pose for you ehh.

Aren't you honoured? LOL

Jiayouu!

Let us do it once and do it well(:

2008-06-02T22:43:00.002+08:00

Please do take time to read this..

''Do you remember the time when you first said your sinner’s prayer, telling God that you’re allowing Him to come into your life?
Do you remember the time when you were so awed by God’s blessings that you just couldn’t stop sharing it to the people around you?
Do you remember the time when you simply just put your Faith & trust in God, without doubting and questioning Him?
Do you remember the time when you had your first sheep?
Do you remember the time when someone accepted Christ because of your own sharing and life testimony?
Do you remember the many promises you made to God?

Did you ever lie to your leaders that you refuse/can’t make it for CareGroup/Service/Shepherding just ‘cuz you were tired, wanted to hang out with your friends or simply just wanted more sleep?
Did you confide in the people around you when all along God was beside you, waiting for you to pour out to Him?
Did you thank God for the many blessings? Even they might be as minor as God stopping the rain or having the bus right in front of your face when you’re about to be late for school?

When was the last time you stopped doing whatever that you were doing and just lingered into God’s presence and listen to what He’s gotta say?
When was the last time you went to Caregroup/Service/Shepherding with a flaming heart, anticipating for God’s word?
When was the last time you prayed for someone else’s needs , praying it with a heart of expectancy?
When was the last time you told God that you love Him when all the while you’ve been so expressive towards the people around you?

When was the last time was your heart ON FIRE for Him? ''

This was what God had wanted me to share during our Unit Caregroup.
Woke up early this morning to plan and pray through what should be prayed in this group.
The above wasn't what I had planned. However, during Joyce's teaching, the Spirit struck me so hard that we really ought to reflect upon our own heart attidues and perspective.
I, then quickly penned it down while also penning down the teaching Joyce was sharing.
Though it was kinda last minute, I hope it had moved your hearts.
I was sharing and praying with a trembling voice.

I want to love God like never before.
I want to serve Him like never before.

2008-05-31T23:13:00.002+08:00

I just came back home and as usual, Grandma was baby-sitting my One year old Nephew.
He was on her her lap, drinkin' milk from the milk bottle while Grandma gently brushes her fingers through his hair and stroked his face.
I sat beside her, and I saw her wrinkled hands which weren't as wrinkled when i last saw it.
I teared immediately and found excuses to excuse myself.
And as I walked pass the playpen in the living room, I noticed the new bedsheet for BabyNephew.
I asked Grandma who bought it and she told me that she had sewn it herself.
Man, my heart melted!
I really love my Grandma alot.
When will she ever receive her salvation? I'll wait for God to move in this family.

Faith. Thats what I need.
Prayers. Thats what i can do.
Anything other than that, I'll leave it unto God's hands.

2008-05-31T00:26:00.002+08:00

I want to have that Child-like faith.

2008-05-28T17:33:00.004+08:00

''Hello! I am lookin' for Kelly Duckling! Saw her?''

''Eh Hi Kelly! Where's another pal of ours?''

''Yay! We're United(: ''

2008-05-27T23:08:00.014+08:00

I went through the red box that i have in my room, filled with letters, gifts and cards..
I looked through the photo albums and the photos in my computer..
Suddenly, a wave of emotions overwhelmed me. I don't know why and what's the cause of it. People close to me know that words and photos matters a lot to me. Words of affirmation and encouragement which are spoken/written, it warms my heart. It's surprising how some 'lil things that you had done unto others actually meant the whole world to them.
Photos. It's never 'bout the venue, time or even how well each individual look or pose. It's always 'bout the people. I especially love candid shots. Natural and genuine.
It never fail to fill me with nostalgia whenever i look through them. But this time, it somehow felt different.

我们人呢，
因为受伤过，才会坚强。。
因为失去过，才会珍惜。。
因为抱怨过，才会感恩。。

我很害怕失去。但我很明白有许多事情是我无法控制的。自己也很清楚即使想挽回也未必能够挽回。我答应自己一定会充分地利用时间，对身旁的事物也会加以珍惜与保护。我会向逆境挑战。我从不知怎么向命运低头。即使是涵着泪，我也会攀上最高峰。若决定了，就会往前冲。谁也阻挡不了我。

我不知道也不能预知未来所为我铺的路。
我只知道现在。
我活在现在。

2008-05-26T22:14:00.002+08:00

Chinese paper was manageable for me(: A big thankyou to those who took the time to pray, send smses to me and encourage me. Though i did not reply (due to the extreme usage) , i really do appreciate it. I had saved those messages in my inbox and did not delete it until the paper's over. Haha! Call me superstitious, I'm alright(:

Today was a peaceful day. After sitting for our Chinese paper, I went lunch-ing with the girls and headed back home. Had a sudden urge to play badminton and went to book the court at the last minute. Headed back home after two hours later and spent the entire day with my family (: Home was pretty noisy. It's Daddy and Mommy's offday, Grandpa and Grandma came to our place too, which wasnt surprising as they pop down everyday. Haha! Oh, and I was being chased by my naughty One-year old nephew. He tried to pull my shorts down =.= I gotta run round the house and boy, can he multitask! He screamed and yelled and laugh and ran all at the same time. Haha! Okay, guess my mind's not working right now. Shall stop.

2008-05-25T23:15:00.003+08:00

'' Father, I don't know what more to say. The sight of children having tubes attached on their body and parents screaming out for their children's name simply hurts me..I pray that you'd give the survivors out there comfort, peace and hope. There's a limit to what i can do, to only donate my clothes. But God, you're limit-less and have no boundaries. Let them see that ray of light at the end of the dark tunnel. Watch over them and be with them. I can't thank you enough. In Jesus' name, Amen. ''

Can you people sense the urgency? The great commission must be done soon and very soon! What's more to wait? Aren't the signs obvious enough? I am desperate! I am dead serious 'bout this. There's no much time to slack and shake my leg!

2008-05-23T18:51:00.002+08:00

SCHOOL:
A fight broke out at the basketball court right after school.. Was really shocked. It was my first witness to a fight, after all. It finally made me understood and realize the masquerades people had been putting on all along.. Never judge a book by it's cover. Still, I hope everythin's gonna be okay.

''Why be so satisfied with our 'lil sandboxes when all along God had wanted to bring us to the beach?''

I read this sentence from a book, (I forgot which) last year.. I am still awed by this sentence. We shouldn't be feeling comfortable from where we are at right now. If one is feeling too comfortable, something is wrong. Taking that step of Faith to get out of one's own comfort zone is never an easy job. It takes courage ( To simply get out of that comfort zone) It takes Faith (Not doubting and trusting that God would take control of all things) However, one thing for sure, you'll grow. And when one looks back and see all that was and has been done, one would feel so amazed and overwhelmed by the power of God.

Prayers- The most fundamental but essential thing in a Christian life. It would be so dead without it. Praying has no boundaries or restrictions. I am once again reminded of this(:

2008-05-21T22:26:00.004+08:00

It's decided.

We are gonna move to the East area by end of this year. Probably after my O's.
I've had always hated changes. Even minor changes, let alone major ones. I was about to leave home to study with Siying when Uncle Gerald told me this news. My heart sank. Not tryna exaggerate but come onnnnn, I've been living here for yearssss (since i was 3years old) I grow up here. My friends are here. I know the cheapest things to buy here. I know where to eat good food. My favourite hang-outs with my clique are all here. Man, the list goes on. I could just list out 101 reasons for not moving. And to tell the truth, on the way to meet Siying, walking pass the surroundings which i am so familiar with, deep within me, i was complaining and telling God how unhappy i am with all these changes. It is so impromptu. In fact, my parents did not even asked me for any suggestions/opinions ): I dont wanna moveeee ):):):):

2008-05-20T16:07:00.003+08:00

I enjoy watching my Sis scream and shout with anger and frustration. I find it really amusing. Like how she had showered half-way and asked me to go get the shower foam from the kitchen for her and i simply just ignored her. She screamed and threatened me and all i do is laugh. And when she slams the bathroom door, the fun ends. Hahaha. Okay, I'm absurd.

When i was sick the other day, I stayed in bed and i thought a lot about Leadership.
One can have the skills. But eventually, everything boils down to the most fundamental thing: Personal relationship with Jesus.

How can we lead when our lives are not right ourselves?
Who are we to advise, correct or rebuke when we are not a good example ourselves?
How are we gonna convince others to obey the Word when we dont ourselves?

To me, the Key to effective leadership is to walk right with God.
One might feel inadequate or incapable. But skills can be learned and acquired.
(As long as we are willing and desire to learn, that is)
There are so many times that i got blurred by what's in front of me and neglects the whole picture.
Isn't it true? Correct me if I am wrong. But i seriously think that when one's relationship with Jesus is right, nothing can be wrong.

2008-05-19T00:10:00.003+08:00

I am pretty packed up with many stuff lately, but am still having joy deep within(:
New problems to tackle , but am still having joy deep within(:
Taller and bigger hurdles to hop over , but am still having joy deep within(:

I understand that life is never a bed of roses. Therefore, instead of throwing tantrums and asking God ''Why , oh why? '' and pushing all blames to others, I am learning to make the best out of every situation. Cliche, I know. But at least, I'd try (:

Michelle's back home again. Yes, I am glad. And all these years i've been living like i've got no sibling at all. It's not that she had left home for years. Just in and out. Out and in. It hurts me every once in a while when i over hear conversation between my friends on how they had fun with their siblings, what games they played or how rough they were. I'd just keep quiet , with teary eyes. Sad to say, I don't really grow up with my sister. She lead her life, and i lead mine. I've never seeked advices from her or confided in her. Neither did she. We never had any deep/private conversation. Neither were we the expressive and touchy kind. I guess the last time we hugged was when i was 8 or 9 years old. Sometimes when she's not around, memories of the past with her when we were younger would just come flashing back. Times when we yelled at each other, times when she pulled my hair and i kicked her belly, times when we went to the library every weekend with mommy and also times when we would pen down every bad things that we had done to each other and threaten to complain to daddy or mommy. People mentioned that we look alike, but for those who know us, also know that we are as different as chalk and cheese. Haha, enough of the emo-ing.. No matter what happens, now that i've grown up and mature enough to think, I shall try my best to be the best sister for her.

I do have the right to make a difference in my family after all, don't I ? (:

2008-05-17T16:57:00.001+08:00

I missed Service today ):

Joan is very sick and Daddy's worried , so yea..

2008-05-12T22:21:00.002+08:00

It's amazing how God understands before we could tell him anything 'bout it..

It's funny how God could foresee what we would do and how we'd react to circumstances before we even face it..

It's unbelievable how God would put testings, trials, difficulties, obstacles, problems and struggles in our lives but yet not afraid that we'd fail , give up and leave Him one day.

I guess that's the reason why God is God and we are not..

A child could never understand a parent's heart.

God, I need you right now..

2008-05-11T10:55:00.003+08:00

Friday night was awesome. I really missed the girls and I went to find them during the night. I was blabbering and laughing non-stop. I could see they were very tired after the entire day out. However, the glow on Kelly's face was still evident. I bet she had enjoyed herself. There are many photos to upload and since Kelly and Silun had already posted all the photos, I shall be a 'lil selfish today and just upload the photo that I took with the Birthday Girl(:

I was so nice can. Many rushed to be the first to wish her. But i decided to be the last to tell her that her birthday had officially ended when the clock struck 12am to the 10th of may. Hahaha.

2008-05-08T23:42:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KELLY NG!

洁如，生日快乐！

Dear ah, so sorry, i can't make it for your birthday celebration. Hope you like the present that we bought for you(: Though i am not there, and i am pretty sure that you girls would miss me, please be assured that my presence is with you. Haha.

Thankyou, for always smiling(:

Your smiles always make my day. As well as your deep laughter. Haha! Thankyou for being part of this crazy clique, this class full of clowns. (You're one of them) Ha! It wouldnt ever be complete without you.

Lastly, Happy Birthday!

The girls love you, and I love you too!!

2008-05-07T22:20:00.017+08:00

THE REASON WHY SCHOOL'S NEVER SUCH A BORE(:

Year 2007(:

Drawn by me(:

My 5 years Clique(:

Siying & I (:

School's Pond(:

Siying & I
The Girl's Mirror In The Classroom(:
Kelly & Yinkay(:

I like this photo of Kay(: Sweet yea?
Chem Prac!
Excursion(:
March Holidays(:
((:

Hahaha. That's Mr Raju's Pass, by the way.
Gimme the Disco Ball! Haha
Random one. Haha
Niceee(:
I can't help but laugh at something in this photo. Siying, you know it(:

Heh. Dont mind me. Bad Example. Do not follow!Rings(Post-its) done by Huichan(:
I Believe I can flyyyy(:
LunchBreak(:
Gorgeous Two. Lol !

Me. Anatta. Ying(:
Siying & Kelly(:
Kay & Ying(:
Look at the grin on my face! Thats shows that i like talking to you, Kelly(:
(:

So fast.. High school's gonna end for us really soon. Just a little post to make you people smile(: I know that we'd gone through a lot. Through good or bad times, we still held on to each other till today. I am really very thankful for you clowns in my life. I never fail to go mad whenever i am with you all. Let's do well for our O's alright? We're gonna soar together(:

Joan loves you(:

2008-05-05T19:38:00.003+08:00

As much as i dislike it , no matter how hard i try to reeeally prevent it , changes still do take place. No doubt 'bout that.

After my History Paper, the usual bunch of us went to have our lunch. Some later went back to school for their POA paper. We were sitting there , crapping while waiting for a friend to come. We waited really long and so i decided to go take a stroll.

I went all the way back to Block724. It's under renovation. All the memories i had just seem to replay like a tape in my head. The events that took place. The stupid games that we played. I held back my tears. Tears of joy? With a tinge of sadness, maybe? It's indescribable. I remember how i used to creep out of the house just to go 724 to play badminton and block catching with that bunch of clowns. I remember how hard i laughed that i teared. I remember how I had spent my Birthday at 724 playing till really late, some even questioned me why would i want to spend my Birthday at a void deck? That place was like my home. We fought there. We argued there. We had our celebrations there. We hung around there. We rot there. And now that the playground's gone, man.. I dont know why , but i feel really sad. Yinkay , do you remember how we used to climb up and down like Monkeys and i actually fell from the highest pit? Do you remember how we used to play ''Crocodile'' ?

Yes. That playground's gone.
All that's left is the Badminton Court. But it looked different.

People whom i used to hang around with then, arent the ones whom I spend time with the most.
We always talk bout those times , though. And to me, Im more than satisfied already(: It made my first two years in High school really memorable.

To those people, you know who you are.
I really thankyou(:

2008-05-01T20:40:00.002+08:00

Speechless.

Yeah, after all that I've been through, looking back, I'm speechless. It's not as if I've been through terrible stuffs or whatsoever. But I'd definitely faced quite a lot in last week alone. I had fallen. And just when I am about to pick myself up and pat my shoulders for being ''strong'', BAM! There goes another fiery spear. Then it would repeat from the top all over again.

No worries, I'm charged up and refreshed. And am still, standing strong. There are so many things that I've experienced by God that no one had ever experienced. So why let negative stuff sway me away from the goodness of the Almighty?

No testings = No growth

I've always asked for Spiritual breakthroughs and testings and indeed, God answered. Hahaha!

''Father, I understand that the purpose of each testing is to grow, mould and prune me. So help me to cling on to you and rely on you through any and every circumstances. You are there. I know. Let your will be done, not mine. Have your way in me, not mine. Help me. Guide me. Pull me through. Thankyou, Lord. I place my trust unto you. Amen. ''

2008-04-29T20:35:00.005+08:00

We practically see each other grow from naive and immature brats to .. well.. mature beautiful young ladies(: Hahaha. Though the rebellious and naughty nature is still in us. Secondary Two was definitely the best year for me. I am glad that we're still eating our meals together with such a big group. You girls brighten me up each morning with just your smiles and well, stupid jokes. School without you girls would be such a bore.

From Right to Left:

Kelly- Thankyou Dear, for providing water for the majority of us everyday.

Silun- Thankyou Dear, for just making noise and making a fool outta yourself. Haha!

Siying- Thankyou Dear, for being my shadow in school, accompanying me wherever i go.

Yinkay- Thankyou Dear, for not retaliating when i approach to hug you for no rhyme or reason.
Huichan- Thankyou Dear, for crapping with me and laugh at the silliest jokes of mine when no one finds it funny. Haha!

2008-04-27T13:10:00.002+08:00

Jesus, my Daddy..
You are my ray of light..

Everybody's asking me 'bout singing on stage yesterday with the Choir. It was awesome. Louis kept reminding us to smile and smile and smile. Haha thank God for Him. We pee-ed a lot too. Due to the amount of liquid (water) we drank. Thankyou , Joyce, for the HoneyLemon as well(: I've made quite a number of friends as well. Double-yayness! It was definitely a great experience gained(:

2008-04-24T22:53:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAREST (:

I LOVE ANATTA PRAJNA GAJA!!

2008-04-22T21:30:00.004+08:00

Hilarious Conversation between Mommy and Grandma

Grandma: When Baby grows up, I'll buy a gun for him
Mommy: Please uhh. Dont buy gun.
Grandma: Then I'll buy swords
Me: Laughing
Mommy: Nonono. Dont buy such toys to play. I'll throw it away.
Grandma: (Looks at BabyNephew) I'll buy a gun for you, okay? BangBangBang!
Me: Rolling on floor laughing.
Mommy: Nonono
Grandma: Boys play such toys what. Then play what? BarBie Dolls uh?
Mommy: =.= Buy a mahjong set lor. Then can play with you.
Grandma: (Smiled) Dont need to buy. There's one set at home.

Eventually, I almost died from laughing too much. My Grandma's cute luh. Petite, naive and humorous.
Love her to bits and pieces!

2008-04-20T00:45:00.002+08:00

''Are you willing to stand strong, My child?''

''Yes..Yes Daddy, I will..''

During Serivice,
I knelt before God and broke down.
And the above is one of the many things that i'd converse with God.

For those who had encouraged,
For those who had given me a tap on my shoulders,
For those who had hugged,
I thank you.

God has always been looking highly on me.
Tests after tests.
Trials after trials.
Obstacles after obstacles.
Hurdles after hurdles.
Man.
However, come to think of it,
I'm definitely not at the losing end.
That Crown of Victory is mine to claim!
It's engraved with my name.

Get it over and done with.
I. WILL. NOT. GIVE. UP.
Mark my words.

2008-04-19T00:20:00.002+08:00

This smile reminds me of Valerie. Haha! To sum it all, this smiley expression was how i felt for the whole of today(:

I feel a tinge of sadness though.

Today's my last day of work.

I thought i would be very happy as it would definitely be a heavy load off my shoulders.

It had been 6 months already! Goodness, time flies!

Many lessons learned, I must say.

Met all kinds of people.

The friendly ones, the weird ones, the funny ones, the rude ones and the kiasu ones.

It was definitely a learning journey and a great experience gained!
( I would miss the BigBubbleMilkTea from KOI cafe though )

Now that I've dropped a subject and had quited my job, I guess there's no much reasons for me to procrastinate! So yea, bark me if you happen to see me floating around- which i often do(:

Yours Truly,

The LaughingMachine(:

2008-04-18T14:49:00.002+08:00

Dear Math,
Please understand me as i slowly take each step to understand you alright? Dont make me pull my hair and scream anymore like how i did for the past few years (Or even just a few hours ago) I will commit myself to you and you better help me soar. Together, we'll prove to the ones who provoked me and think that i'll never make it. Iloveyou- Or rather, I'd try to(:

Finally, I've made up my mind to drop Deisgn and Technology.
I spent quite some time considering it.. and i guess it would be the best choice..
For now, I guess it is really DO OR DIE ..
Hahaha.
''Do it once, Do it well! '' - The slogan in our classroom left behind by our seniors.
The last thing i want is to regret and disappoint the people around me who truly cares.
God ahh. I need you in this.

2008-04-14T19:00:00.003+08:00

YummYumm.. I can smell Mommy's Onion Omelette from the living room.. My whole family love eggs. Give me a bowl of plain rice and egg and i'd be more than satisfied(: It's been ages since i last ate home-cooked food. Man , nothing can be compared to home-cooked food(: I remembered last year, when the girls were askin' me if i wanted to join them for lunch, i'd always say ''我要回家吃我妈煮的爱心餐(:'' Haha.

I'm craving for JellyBeans now though):

2008-04-13T08:55:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was definitely a fulfiling day.

There wasnt any visitors in my group and these few days, or rather, this whole week wasn't very nice to me.
I went to Church with a heavy heart. I didn't wanted to smile. I didn't wanted to talk. But i felt so so much better after the praise and worship during service. Lingering into God's presence was the only way for me, i guess. Still, now i finally get to experience the give-thanks-in-all-circumstances statement.

I was feeling very exhausted and lethargic after the whole of yesterday. But i know, that deep down inside me, there's joy. There's happiness. 'Cuz God had spoken to me for the entire day. During the sermon in service by Pastor Jeff, the teachings by Joyce for NorthA and, the teachings by Joyce combining together with East, and the teaching from Pastor Shirley during Clm. I was once again, awed and amazed by what God can do. He created this entire universe. What more can he not do? I had a great night conversing with God last night. As i penned my thoughts and feelings into my diary, which i had kept for two years, i believe, and i know, that God was watching all way through.

Something random pondered upon me.
When i first came to Church, i was so excited to going to Church, Caregroup etc. Then someone told me ''Yeah. That's just 'cuz you're new. Wait till you're at least one year old. You'd not be that excited.'' I looked at him for a moment then. And now that i'm one year and four months old in Christ, i am more than proud to declare that the fire is still burning ferociously inside me. People around me, would know that Saturday is a day which i looked forward the most. In fact, as cliche as it sound, how i wish we're having servies everyday. But i guess having one service each week is good enough. It sorta help me to reflect what i'd done over the week and give an account to God. I believe this fire within will continue burning as long as i'm walking right with God(:

2008-04-11T18:48:00.003+08:00

This few day's rather bad for me.
First , I had a bad friction with one of my good friends.
I don't understand as well.
I can't explain the silence.
I'm not sure how things would turn up.

Secondly.
My racket's lost..
It was left untouched for quite some time at home
and so, i passed it to Maureen and asked her to help me go re-string it
just so she could have a better discount and I'm able to get my letter 'J' on the string.
And apparently someone stole it when she was emcee-ing for Speech day just now.
I dont blame her luh, it wasn't intentional.
It was given by a very good friend of mine,
and this racket had been together with me through many many competitions.
Victories and failures.

2008-04-05T23:04:00.002+08:00

Daddy, my Father in Heaven,

You know, I have so much to thank you for

If i were to write them down, I guess I would never be able to complete it.

Your love is free. But it isn't cheap.

You had filled the void in me.

I've always been searching for that ''someone''

but I never realized you were there all along

I have what I have now not because of what i've acheived.

I do what i do now not because of myself.

It is all, completely because of you.

Daddy, my Father in Heaven,

You know what? Your child here has a dream.

A dream for you

One day ,

I would want to stand on the stage and sing for you.

''Do they see Jesus in me''.

The first Christian song i heard, touched and impacted me.

People might laugh at me.

But I don't care.

'Cuz my audience aren't them.

It is you, Daddy(:

Daddy, my Father in Heaven,

One day I will be with you

One day I will finally hold your hand.

One day, I'll be home.

I loveyou, I really do(: